If you’ve missed Helen and Margaret over the last year or so, you’ve missed out on some good laughs (and debates about whether or not they’re really two old ladies…). Today, Margaret has posted her family Thanksgiving letter which includes these brilliant and oh so true requests:

#1 If you put it on your plate, it better end up in your mouth.  Last year I threw away enough food to feed the population of Wasilla.  That is just wasteful.

#2 If you pop a top on a can of soda, please drink the entire can before popping another top.  Last year after you left I found 32 half empty cans of soda around the house and my drink refrigerator out back was almost empty.  What idiot really thinks that is appropriate?  Besides being such a waste, I can’t just throw those cans into the recycle bin.  I have to empty each one of them down the drain before I can throw them out.  And while I am on the subject, I put coasters out for a reason.

#3  Our trash pick up is the day before Thanksgiving.  If you bring a kid in diapers, leave with the kid and the diapers. I don’t need used diapers stinking up my garage until the trash men come the following week.

#5  Speaking of dogs.  Yours has a home.  Leave it there.

#6  I don’t own a trampoline.  It’s called a sofa.  Your feet have no business being on it.