Paradise Found » A Question about Religion

A Question about Religion

December 22, 2006 at 7:41 am · Filed under My Musings

I had the most unsettling experience the other day. My kids do a regularly scheduled group activity each week with a group of 6 kids. One of the boys is a Jehovah’s Witness and therefore does not celebrate the Christmas holiday. One of the girls (a Christian) brought a little gift (food items) for each of the kids, unaware that the boy doesn’t celebrate. I thought this was a sweet gesture. The boy was incredibly uncomfortable and didn’t know how to react. As he was getting ready to leave, I reminded him about his bag of goodies – it looked like he planned to ignore it and leave it there. His eyes got wide and he got slightly panicky and looked at his dad. I don’t know if he was afraid that he’d get in trouble or what. He and his dad exchanged glances and he ultimately took the bag with him, but he was very obviously distressed about it. I felt so sad for him to be unable to accept a gift offered in kindness. I took the opportunity to discuss this with my kids, but felt slightly unequipped to discuss it.

I know very little about the Jehovah’s Witness religion. Is it absolutely against the rules for a Jehovah’s Witness to accept a gift related to a holiday? I’ve been thinking about this since it happened. If a Jewish friend invited me for Hanukkah latkes, I’d accept without hesitation, even though I’m not Jewish. I wouldn’t be offended that someone tried to share their special holiday celebration with me. I wouldn’t see this as a breach of my beliefs or an attempt to convert me. I’d see it as a loving gesture and an opportunity for my kids to learn more about the Jewish religion. I could say the same for any number of religious celebrations, and I can’t think of a single situation short of proselytization that would make me uncomfortable to share another person’s special holiday or deny lovingly offered gifts.

Please know that I am not trying to discount anyone’s beliefs; I’m simply trying to understand this situation and why this boy was SO distressed by the act of receiving a gift. Are there any Jehovah’s Witnesses reading who can help me to understand? Would any of you (regardless of your chosen religion) participate in a celebration for another faith, if you were invited to? Other thoughts?

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JoVE said,

December 22, 2006 @ 8:02 am

Can’t help of the JW questions. But a friend (who is an ordained Episcopal priest) says that she sends cards and gifts to friends on the holidays she celebrates (whether they celebrate or not) but does not expect any from folks who do not celebrate those holidays. Also she would not be surprised or offended to receive cards and gifts on holidays others celebrate that she does not. Seems in line with your thinking here.

I think many people have difficulty truly accepting other faiths, particularly if your own is one which sees itself as the ONLY way to salvation. Respectful interfaith dialogue is incredibly hard to acheive. One would hope that this little guy’s father was also disturbed about how unprepared his son was for this situation and talks to him about appropriate ways to deal with it in future.

paradisefound said,

December 22, 2006 @ 8:45 am

– One would hope that this little guy’s father was also disturbed about how unprepared his son was for this situation and talks to him about appropriate ways to deal with it in future.–

That’s exactly what I told my kids! It was the ideal opportunity to discuss how to handle an awkward situation like this. I hope his dad took it.

jax said,

December 22, 2006 @ 9:02 am

Hm, bit of research on the web turns up the idea that jws can be disfellowed (sp?) for celebrating Christmas, and if you aren’t in the fellowship, you don’t get eternal life. I’d think that would be a pretty strong reason to avoid doing anything that looked like celebrating including accepting gifts.

I suppose this is more like being offered a gift that is forbidden by your religion - although I can’t immediately think what that would be for a christian. I’m sure there’s probably something that has been given somewhere in the world as a gift that you would find unacceptable.

paradisefound said,

December 22, 2006 @ 9:42 am

Jax, For the record, I’m not Christian, but I have definitely had some “unacceptable” gifts cross my path. The skirt my grandma made for me out of her old curtains comes to mind.

Your comment did make me think of Mormons who are not allowed caffeine. The thing is, that’s easier to say “no thanks” to (or to request decaf) than to a sincerely offered gift. From what you’re saying it is completely against the beliefs of JWs to accept any form of celebration, and while I can respect that, I hope that doesn’t hinder followers from learning more about different religions and beliefs.

If this family - or any JW family for that matter - can’t accept gifts, wouldn’t it behoove the family/church to equip people to respond to such an offering? A simple, “thanks, but I don’t celebrate Christmas” would suffice, and would have eased what seemed to be a painful moment for this boy.

jax said,

December 22, 2006 @ 10:28 am

From what I know of jehovah’s witnesses, they don’t do anything in a particularly pleasant way. I grew up not knowing that I had an uncle or cousin on my father’s side as they were jws and had ceased all contact with family. Not sure that the two things are utterly interlinked, but it certainly seemed to be a contributory factor.

Sorry to have implied you are Christian paradise, can’t think why I would have thought that I’m not either, but many of my closest friends are, and I find that our conversations about religion are enlightening in all sorts of different ways.

Meg L. said,

December 22, 2006 @ 2:31 pm

Hmm. I don’t know. But Joy over at Dante’s Virgil is an ex-JW and she’s been doing an interesting discussion of their practices. They start here: http://dantesvirgil.blogspot.com/2006/12/them-wacky-millenialists.html I’m sure if you were to ask her, your questions, she’d fill you in.

scrappitydoodah said,

December 22, 2006 @ 6:07 pm

From what you’re saying it is completely against the beliefs of JWs to accept any form of celebration.

They can accept gifts throughout the year as a token of love, but they do not celebrate birthdays as they consider them rooted in false religions, and they do not celebrate Christmas because Christmas is derived from pagan festival practices, and they feel it is condemned by God.

This is taken from their Watchtower website:

“Jesus was not born on December 25. He was born about October 1, a time of year when shepherds kept their flocks out-of-doors at night. (Luke 2:8-12) Jesus never commanded Christians to celebrate his birth. Rather, he told his disciples to memorialize, or remember, his death. (Luke 22:19, 20) Christmas and its customs come from ancient false religions. The same is true of Easter customs, such as the use of eggs and rabbits. The early Christians did not celebrate Christmas or Easter, nor do true Christians today.”

paradisefound said,

December 26, 2006 @ 2:51 pm

Thanks everyone for sharing your insights! I am hopeful that the boy’s father took the time to help him work out a plan for dealing with situations such as this. They are really a wonderful family and I was surprised that he didn’t already have a firm grasp on a way to handle this.

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