This ran in last year’s holiday issue of Live Free, Learn Free. What’s on YOUR wish list?

Dear Santa:

This year has passed in a whirlwind of interests, activities and explorations. My boys - homeschooled, always - have learned as much as they’ve taught me, as usual. Relocating 2,500 miles from home has provided many opportunities for learning, as well as concerns about family traditions. I’ve assured them that surely, you’ll stop here for them on Christmas Eve.

But, Santa, I’ve a request. This year, just once, will you remember ME? My wish list differs from my kids’, but just one of these things will improve my life more than you can possibly imagine.

I’d like a mask, specially made for homeschooling parents, which will always show the proper emotion. For instance, the moment when my eleven year old announces, “7 + 3, oh that’s 9…um, no…10?” Or when my fourteen year old - who, in his defense, has always struggled with spelling - asks, “how do you spell sure?” The mask should provide the ability to respond positively and calmly to these youngsters’ efforts and will surely help their self-esteem. Certainly more than the incredulous look, desperately trying to escape, that very clearly but silently asks, “Are you kidding me? What have we been doing all these years??”

I’d like a magic eraser that will remove the daubs of experimental Gorilla Glue, glitter and permanent marker that mar my dining/craft/school table. Bonus points if the eraser can take on an occasional gray hair and the slight creases forming around my eyes.

Grant me the ability to guide my kids in their endeavors, no matter my own shortcomings. Help me to teach them things that are unknown to me, like Old Norse (never mind that it’s a dead language - it’s the latest passion!) or how to find (really) a person’s aura.

I’d like a library book tracking system that actually works. Something that can handle 25 books in, 14 returned, 3 missing and 4 that were accidentally left in the other car. I estimate that our annual overdue book fines pay for one librarian’s wages, one month’s electric bill and all of the paper towels for the boy’s bathroom. I’m all for charitable donations, but this is getting out of hand.

And speaking of books, perhaps a couple of beds equipped with a hydraulic system that will tip my kids - along with whatever book they are currently engrossed in - out of bed in time to eat lunch.

I desperately need a housecleaning system that works on good intentions rather than elbow grease. Kids wielding a broom with good intentions would be able to actually move the bread crumbs from floor to trash, rather than spreading them around the kitchen like bird food. Parents with this gift will be able to power through any cleaning job, no matter how many “learning moments’ occur during the task at hand.

Santa, one final request, and, this is a biggie. Allow me to always see the humor in a situation - and there are plenty. Let me laugh when my sensible child ruins a brand new pair of shoes to stop his forward motion on a bike, just to avoid hearing the brakes squeak; when my other son decides to create a flip book on every page of my brand new notebook; or when, working together, they decide to invent a new recipe that results in - shall we say - a little mess? Yes, Santa. Let me laugh.