This is my ninth year of officially homeschooling. My eldest is nearing 14 and would be in eighth grade if he were in a traditional school. After all of the time that has passed, you’d think that I’d be well past disapproving family members and nay-sayers. And you’d think that I’d get over the feelings of frustration that I have when people I love react negatively to our education choices. Apparently not.

When my husband and I first announced our plans to homeschool our son, the decision was met with much concern. My family had never heard of such a thing. And, my family does NOT rock the boat. There were the usual concerns about my ability to teach, his ability to learn and where, oh where, we would get the curriculum. What I wanted to say was, “it’s kindergarten people – naps and snacks and chunky crayons – I think I can handle this!” But I didn’t. I tried to patiently explain why we were doing this, and offered hope (for them) that if it didn’t work, we could always go back to public school. “But,” my mom said, “what about prom??” This truly came out of her mouth about her 5 year old grandson.

Over the years, my family’s method of coping with our choice has been to ignore it. We’ve coexisted in a head-in-the-sand kind of way, except for the occasions that I can share a truly tangible success. One year B took a science class, complete with tests. 100% on a test was something for the grandparents to crow about.

But this year, I am hearing more and more that our decision is disturbing the family. The funny thing is, what they are concerned about is not the education the boys are getting, but their social opportunities. Again, this time with a teen in the house, I’m hearing, “what about prom”? Well, what about it? I went to my prom. It wasn’t an earth-shattering evening. It was an evening when all of the parents in the school relaxed their rules, giving silent consent for behavior that would – on any other day of the year – be punishable. If I didn’t have the chance to go, would I always have wondered about it? I honestly don’t know. But, I do believe that what we are offering our kids in the way of experiential learning throughout their entire childhood makes up for the few missed social events of high school, tenfold.

Of course, the critiques about what our kids are missing bother me all the more because I am conscious of the need for the boys to be around other kids. And, moving out of state has made that more difficult than one would think. We are meeting other kids, but neither of the boys has found a “favorite friend”. This leaves me open to those ever-more frequent comments about how we are doing our kids a disservice. I dread conversations that work their way around to education, and I feel the hair on the back of my neck rise when someone asks me about high school (are you really going to homeschool all through high school? – uh, yeah, as long as it works) or school dances (don’t you remember getting all dressed up? – yeah, and I remember the really mean girls teasing me about my homemade dress).

No single solution is perfect for every circumstance, but this decision is what works best for my family right now. I just wish people would trust me on that!